Wants vs Needs. Do I really need it or do I just want it? I grew up never having a lot of wants. I didn’t have the fanciest clothes, the fanciest dinners, but I always had a fridge full of food, dinner on the table and a house well stocked with basic necessities. I acknowledge that and know this is not the case for many, and I grew up with friends who didn’t have their basic needs met. This shaped me into who I am today and always being a giving person. But it also shaped me into being used to growing up getting what I wanted. I didn’t go through the local store not being allowed to get something, and if I wanted Burgerville my dad would definitely be taking me. I don’t consider myself spoiled, but I definitely didn’t go without and my dad loved to do anything for his daughter. So sure, maybe that means I was spoiled, but I learned so much from all of that like how to share with others, be giving and not leave people out. I was lucky and I get that, but I always shared my life and what I got with others and still do. It’s kinda like the COVID crisis now and the fact we can’t find toilet paper and we are legit out (written 2 months ago when this was the truth and case for us). I realize this hoarding situation we are facing goes way deeper than meets the eye, there are people who probably at one point in their life went without basic necessities and have a fear of if happening and so they are stockpiling items and necessities out of that fear. I don’t know what it’s like to live without, so I get it if people legit have a fear of going without and this crisis scares them so much that they feel that fear. I don’t agree with it, I don’t feel we should have been in the situation when some have an abundance of supplies and others like us don’t have any, but it is what it is and if there is no toilet paper and we have to go without we will learn to adjust and take more showers, some countries don’t even use toilet paper. We will be ok!
This is something I definitely struggle with as an adult too. We have always been able to buy what we wanted, we always had what we wanted. Then 5/16/18 happened and we found ourselves down to one income. Our life would drastically change. We were so lucky to have had made smart financial decisions in that all that we had wasn’t financed. Thank gosh because we sold so much of it including our house (Link to post here about it) https://jessymunch826.com/2020/04/04/its-just-a-house/ so that we could survive with the loss of my income all of a sudden. But this is not what we are used to in life, we are used to a life of if we want something, we buy it. We are still working on this as it takes some time to truly change your habits and life. But it is something I think about daily when I go to buy something. It’s why every morning I do my Start Today Journal, I start out with 5 things I’m grateful for, and I write my ten dreams as if they have already happened with the one goal we will accomplish first. This really does work and help me. Every morning I am reminded of my goals, like the first one I want to accomplish first is that we have 25k in savings. So daily when I write that every morning, it helps me rethink the idea of buying those pair of jeans or amazon purchase. Saving and having a large savings was never a priority to us, but it sure is now! We are so lucky we had so much to sell, we sold it, but now we don’t have nearly as much to sell If something happens all of a sudden and we lose our one Income, my husbands. So saving is a huge priority. 25k is just a start, we ideally want like 50k but we know that 25k would cover us to live for a full year so it’s a start. Eventually enough to live plus an extra 25k to live like we do now is the goal.
My biggest want and need in life is to be happy and fulfilled. I do this is many ways, by working which just so happens to be about 1- 4 hour shift a week, I exercise either with my peloton or run or walk, we have open family conversations, we have open communication in our marriage and with our friends. Our life is far from perfect and that’s ok, that’s not a goal or dream of ours. We just want to be happy and content, have good attitudes even when the going gets rough, travel which is a huge passion for all 3 of us and why we changed our life so significantly so that we can still enjoy the things we love like travel and work to live and enjoy our life together, not work to pay off debt and things we buy. That’s not important to us. Our family, friends and marriage is what’s most important. That is a want and a need.
At almost 40 I can say we almost finally feel financially secure. We have a plan and it will happen this summer. Of course more security is the goal and we will slowly get there, but all we want is to be financially secure and know that if something ever happens wether it’s a job loss due to a pandemic or an injury, that we will be okay. I tell my parents often, look I’m finally growing up- at 40 and it only took a major accident to have a major wake up call!