I think often how different this would all be if I hadn’t of had a brain injury and if I drank. Or would it since I have a public health background?
Honestly it’s hard for me to answer as I think I would have been so much more out there living my life, but then again with a background in Public Health maybe I wouldn’t have been. I guess I will never know, all I know is now and how my TBI and not drinking really has played a part.
I do know that TBI really prepared me for the social isolation and stay at home orders. I am definitely not nearly as social as I once was, I also can’t drive so that changes a lot for me too. If I could drive I’m sure I would be in Bend, Seattle, Driving to Idaho and California because I loved to drive and I have friends to visit there. But TBI left me not driving, it really left me much more isolated than I have ever been. So Covid happening, social isolation and stay at home orders along with having a public health background and being at a higher risk for contracting it and not being 100% in health and function, it’s all just really helped me stay home and not see people or be social.
I want Covid to be over, so I can do my part. I want life to go back to pre Covid. I know that the old me would have really struggled, the new me, it’s like nothing new or abnormal. Whatever, we are used to being alone a lot since becoming sober and especially since my TBI. It’s the sad truth but it’s ok. I have my husband. We are ok being home and alone together, this is the very norm for us. It’s not as norm to not be doing stuff we love, but we can handle staying home and hoping this all has an end in sight.
Earlier this month we thought of a great outlet to not be home. My father in law is gone a ton and he has a beautiful home on the Tualatin River. So we went “camping” there, we took our camper and dogs and hung out for Labor Day weekend. It was amazing. The dogs had a dog run, I spent most the time on the back deck overlooking the river reading, we used the hot tub, paddle boarded and kayaked. We even took the little boat up and down the river. It was amazing. We definitely didn’t have any friends reaching out to do anything fun, so we made our own fun and it was absolutely lovely and made us realize we can go over anytime, even a weekday just to paddle and kayak.
The one thing TBI has taught us is to be alone with ourselves and to find things we wouldn’t normally do to do in order to still enjoy life. It was an amazing weekend and so nice to get out of the house. We are prepared for isolating, not getting invites to do fun things and since Covid even have seen a lot of friends not include us in stuff and that’s ok, we can figure stuff out for ourselves and find new things to do that we enjoy. It makes me then reflect also that pre TBI, many of those friends we didn’t see often anyways because we were always camping, riding or racing and now that the first year of my injury is over, so people are more back to the normal and that’s ok. That’s life and it didn’t bother me before, so why should it now. However the no traveling has really bummed me out.
Seriously Covid, social isolation, not being able to do as much as we once did is nothing to us. Quitting drinking alcohol and traumatic brain injury really did prepare us for all this and that’s ok. I’m glad we can find good in it all and still enjoy our weekends. So many people have lost so much more due to Covid, we are thankful that we have not.